Home Study Self-Report - Part 3: Relationship

This section was easy! It’s about us, as a couple.

If I had to pick one aspect of my life that is going steadily at its awesomest (yes, this word exist. No need to look it up), it would be my relationship with Pablo in the last few years. I already told you how good a father he will be, but you have no idea how good a partner, husband and best friend he is!

So when I’m asked to describe our relationship, talk about how we met and what I enjoy about Pablo, it’s easy.

My thoughts:

-          Seeing how happy I am now in my relationship, all the work and growing pains were well worth it (and believe me, there were some).

-          It’s important to me to be able to provide a model for a healthy, loving marriage to my children. That’s how they will learn to interact with their partners when the time comes. I want them to know that it’s not supposed to be always easy, but that it’s worth the effort.

-          I also want us to be a model of respect for each other and for ourselves.

-          It feels good to read a description your partner makes of you… I know Pablo loves me, but it’s sweet to read details about what he likes in my personality! :D

Home Study Self-Report - Part 2: Family

Once the personal section is completed, the rest of the Home Study Self Report has to be written together. We have decided to jot down a few ideas on a shared file. Next week, we have a date to get working on the final document. How’s that for a romantic date?

This way, we are going to be able to organize the ideas from both Pablo and I and put them together in a nice, seamless report! I think we can do the final redaction in one day, if all the ideas are already written down.

The second section of the Self-Report was about family. It asks about us as a family, but also our views on what being a family means. It covers activities we do together, our views on parenting and values that are important to the family.

I talked a lot about outdoors activities, being that Pablo and I enjoy camping, hiking and skiing together so much, and that it’s something we want to pass on to our children.

Here are a few thoughts that came out of it:

-          Pablo and I enjoy our time together tremendously! Even the unexciting, day-to-day stuff is more fun when he’s around...

-          A lot of our favourite traditions revolve around holidays. I am an unconditional fan of Christmas and I think I have infected Pablo over the years. I was really glad he mentioned our tradition of taking a drive around town on an evening, around Christmas time, to take in the colors and the joy of Christmas lights. It’s something that I used to do with my family as a kid and have carried over to our family.

-          It’s crazy how similar our answers are... Either we have developed such a strong common culture that we are slowly turning into the same person, or Pablo has copied my answers.

They're here!

Yay!
Pablo just told me that we got our International Police clearance by mail!
It's perfect: we will put our application package together and take it all to the agency on Saturday, when we go for the International Adoption course!

I will make sure to publish more details about how exactly to get the Interpol clearance in the next little bit. I thought the information was hard to find, given that nobody at our local RCMP knew how to proceed! For now, I feel like celebrating...

Home Study Self-Report – Part 1: Personal Description

We have to write the first part of the Home Study Self Report separately. It has lots of questions about your personality, childhood and upbringing. It asks about the health history of your family, the parenting techniques your parents used, your religious beliefs, the house you grew in, your employment history, what you do to relieve stress and much, much more.

And it’s not a form, we’re talking about. Oh no! It’s more of an essay, we have to write!

I have been honest through it all. I have nothing to hide and, although I am not perfect, I doubt they will judge me inapt to raise children because I am uncomfortable with confrontation.

A few good things have come out of it and, once I was done writing my part of it, I was excited for Pablo to read it! It’s not that he doesn’t know me. Sometimes, I think he does more than myself. But it felt oddly satisfying to have put words on so much of myself!

Anyway, here are a few thoughts that this part of process has left me with:

-          I was blessed with an amazing Mom.

-          I love my family very much, and what I call family is much more than those who share some genes with me (although my sister has a really special place in my heart).

-          I can’t wait to watch the Muppets’ Christmas Carol with my kids (it’s my guilty pleasure).

-          I wouldn’t even have dared to ask life to give me a husband that would carry over the one family tradition that I am so attached to. It’s unbelievable that Pablo plays guitar so well!

So far, our Self Report has 5 pages.

A Night in Paradise

And I'm not talking about  my wedding night!
This is where we had our coffee, this morning, after an overnight camping in the backcountry of our beloved Rocky Mountains.
Pablo and I are both outdoors enthusiasts and I can't wait to take our kids out! I would have loved to wait for the bald eagle to come back alongside the excited looking face of a little one, or for Pablo to explain to them how to hold the fishing rod and wait patiently.
My Mom always loved everything outdoors and I spent most of my childhood vacations biking, canoeing, hiking, skiing and camping. I don't think it's a coincidence if I am happier in a tent than at home, and if I spend all fall looking forward to getting my cross-counrty skis out on the trails! Kids learn to appreciate what they are exposed to. I also learned really young that a little bit of discomfort is nothing, when it means waking up to the first ray of sunshine crossing the walls of the tent.
I keep beautiful memories of the times we were outdoors with my family and, as an adult, I have just kept adding to these memories with Pablo.
I consider myself infinitely lucky to have this heritage, and I can't wait to pass it on to the next generation!

Home Study Self-Report - Prologue

I already told you about our Agency Application Form, and how it was some sort of a mini rehearsal for the Home Study.

Between being asked what our strengths and weaknesses are and having a social worker questioning, live, every single little detail of how we manage the frustration surrounding a pair of dirty socks left on the floor at the end of a stressful day, the step is gigantic!

So to make things easier for us (I believe that’s what their intention is), our agency has kindly provided another step along the way. It is called a Home Study Self Report, and is somewhat like a biography we have to write. It has several sections, each divided in specific questions we need to elaborate on. It covers details from childhood memories to family traditions, all the way to anger management, relationship history and medical background.

It is a lot of work. But it also is a great reflection tool. It’s not something you do in one afternoon. We are working at it little bits at a time. In fact, our goal is to have it ready around the time we get our training, which is on September 17.

As we work our way through this document, I will share with you some of the thoughts that arise from it.

And I thought making babies only involved having one glass of wine too many and a friendly state of mind...

Tu Papá

I was 19, when I met Pablo. I was closer to being a child than to having one, and babies were not really on my mind. So it’s safe to say that his potential as a great dad for my offspring was not exactly a selection criteria when I fell in love with him...

I was unbelievably lucky, though. Because although it didn’t seem important back then, it is of utmost priority now!

My husband is one of those men who wear time well. He doesn’t get older; he gets wiser. Experience and self-knowledge have turned him into the greatest partner ever. And he will be a perfect dad, too!

He is a family man, that’s for sure. Family is probably at the very top of his list of values, and he will always be loyal to his family (extended and close). He’s also really good with kids. I can’t explain why, but he’s got a lot more patience for kids than for anything (or anyone) else in life. I’ve seen him take half an hour every night to care for little playground scratches that didn’t actually require any treatment, when our nieces were staying with us. He also is sooooo much more laid back than I am, he often brings me back to earth when I get worked up on silly details. And because I know how involved he will be with our children, I am trusting him to stop me when I get too protective or overthink the whole parenting thing.

Yep! Without even knowing it, I have picked THE perfect father for my kids.

And no, he is not for sale.