Looking Back

As you know, our little escapade has brought back the old Gen. I had forgotten how it felt to not be unhappy. Since I came back, I have found a renewed interest in my job, I am again dreaming of life projects (not just that one life project), my passion for travelling has come back and I am again reading just for fun.
My life had become a bit crazy, over the last few years and I had gradually let go of everything that makes me who I am.
Actually, I have sacrificed so much to this journey (I'm not talking about money or time, here) that realizing that my real self had been out of my life for years made me question whether this is all worth it. Seriously, are we ok with continued unhappiness and emotional empoverishment? How long can this go on before we realize we will never get these years back?

I had to dig deep inside to figure out the right thing to do, and it took me several days. And I believe I know what I need to do. I do want kids. I would love to adopt, it makes so much sense. But there are other things I want for my life. And there will need to be some sacrifice. Things are not going to go as per my original plan, that I know for sure. So I need to decide what is more important.
I believe having children comes pretty high up on the list. The path that we have chosen for this has not proved very straight. And I need to stay focused on the end goal. Does my child have to come from Sri Lanka? Or even be adopted into our family? What price am I willing to pay?

One thing I have gained with this time off is detachment. And I realize it has been missing from this whole adventure. If I can keep this state of mind, I think I'm able to continue. But a Cinnamon baby may never happen for us. And though we are not giving up the process, we may need to open up a few more doors. 
It can't be simple, but it doesn't have to be plain depressing.

Liebster Award

Well, it's the first time I do something like this... Mia, over at Gypsy Mama's Misconceptions, has nominated me for a Liebster Award :) Thank you Mia, you're so sweet!

This award is given to new or up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. The award is then passed along to other bloggers in the same category to help spread the word and support one another. If you receive the award, there are a few rules to follow.

Each blogger nominated must post 11 things about themselves.

Then answer the 11 questions the tagger has asked.

Blogger must then create 11 questions of their own to ask the bloggers they decide to nominate.

They must choose 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers to nominate and link them on their blog post.

Bloggers must be notified of their award.

No tag backs!

11 Things About Me:

1- I'm a Quebecoise living in Alberta, and I'm deeply in love with both my home city and my Rocky Mountains.

2- I'm an outdoors addict. Rarely do I get a rush like when going down a fast hill on my cross-country skis or stopping to catch a breath on the summit of a mountain.

3- There were only women in my home as I was growing up.

4- My husband and I dated for 10 years before getting married. Really, we got married for the adoption.

5- I have a challenging and stimulating job as an engineer...

6- ... but my secret dream job would have been as a travel guide author.

7- Whenever I travel to a country where I don't speak the language, I do the "Word of the Day": I learn one new word a day and make efforts to use it with locals.

8- I know the trick to a lasting relationship: marry your best friend!

9- I knit, and so does my Grandma. It skipped a generation in my family :)

10- I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro with a girlfriend a few years ago.

11- I worked as a museum guide in a Space Science museum when I was a teenager. I learned tons and loved this job.

11 Questions From Mia:

1- What was your favourite food as a child? My Grandmother's tourtiere, a sort of pie with hare, moose and other meats.

2- Where do you want to retire? Probably back in Quebec, close to my family.

3- Favourite cookie? You know those packed shortbread cookies with the red jelly sprinkled with sugar in the middle? Well I still like them as much as when I was a kid...

4- Introvert or Extravert? I think I'm extrovert... 

5- What chore do you absolutely hate doing? Vacuuming. I'd rather clean the toilet bowl for a month than vacuum my house.

6- What is your favourite time of day? Conversations on the pillow before falling asleep.

7- Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures? Take pictures, if the subject is interesting.

8- Is toilet paper hung over or under? Over, of course!

9- Who has the sexiest accents? People from Southern France. In English, I'm a sucker for a light British accent. Wait... Was I supposed to say Latinos???

10- Favourite Disney Princess. Hum... I guess Belle is the one I liked the most when I was a kid. If I can cheat a bit, I'll says Shrek's Fiona (though it's not a Disney character). I like that she is unconventional...

11- What was your first job? Burger King. That was before the museum. 

11 Questions From Me:

1- What is your favorite movie?

2- What kind of student were you in elementary school?

3- Your biggest success?

4- What is your oldest memory?

5- Who was your hero when you were growing up?

6- Describe a place you love close to your home.

7- What's your go-to meal to entertain friends?

8- One song on your playlist right now?

9- Name one quality you hope one of your parents has passed on to you.

10- Are you more into Science or Arts?

11- How much time do you spend blogging and reading blogs each day?

Bloggers I Nominate:

I only have a few blogs that I follow that have less than 200 followers:

• La Belle Vie
• My Road to Motherhood
• Adoption in Adolescent Eyes

How to Fake Patience - Tip #5

Don't know what to do with yourself as you wait for your child?
This is How to Fake Patience - Tip #5:
Take up crochet! Or knitting, or sewing, or woodworking. You get the idea...

Get yourself a book, a class or an online video explanation and start handcrafting baby things!

And if you don't want to see baby things in your home, then make something for someone else. Start something that will take you a while, like a blanket or a sweater. Believe me, it kills time!

It has taken me months to make these few items. I'm working on a blanket now.

Back Home, And Back To My Old Self!

I'm just back from Greece.
Travelling was not the wisest financial decision, given that we still need to save for our adoption. But it was total salvation for my mental health and I regret absolutely nothing!

A full 3 weeks without paperwork, focusing on anything but the dread and sorrow in our lives (namely, antique ruins, baklavas and sunsets over olive groves), seems to have restored some of my sanity. I haven't felt that serene in months, maybe years (I've also put on 5 lbs, but every single baklava was worth it). Actually, I recognize good old Gen, the one with an optimistic outlook on life and a taste for adventure. I hadn't seen her in a long time!
There is no question, if we're still childless by then, we're running away from Christmas 2013 as well!

I hope everyone had the best holiday season possible!

A Better 2013!

I want to wish a wonderful 2013 to all.
In particular, I hope 2013 is sweet for all those who had a tough 2012. Those who saw another year go by with no hope, those who's year was marked by loss or sorrow, those who will be too happy to burry 2012...
May 2013 be a wonderful, lucky year!

And f%€<* 2012!

We're Off!

The Holiday season can be the most difficult time of the year when you're waiting to adopt.
In all honesty, I have come to dislike Mother's Day, my birthday, Halloween and New Year's Eve as well. But Christmas is so loaded with childhood memories, and so widely celebrated around here that it has become the time of year that I hate the most.
I believe it's not just the adoption community who feels this way. Christmas is difficult when you have recently lost someone close, when you live away from your family, when you are recently divorced or when illness has stricken your family this year.

I believe that, when life gets a bit rough, you have to do what's necessary to ease the pain. Even if it means not following traditions, or sometimes disappointing others.

So this year, Pablo and I are running away from Chistmas.
We're off to Greece for 3 weeks!
The first week will be just the two of us, on the continent. Then, we're meeting up with Pablo's parents and brother on Crete for 2 weeks.
Of course, we'll miss the rest of the family, and it's sad to give up the traditions that we love. But it's even more sad to follow your traditions when someone so crucial as your own kid is missing. Hopefully it's the last Christmas we have to run away from!

To all, a very happy holiday season! And may your dearest dreams come true...

A Summary

I know a lot of readers are keeping an eye on this blog in hope that good news will come up here. Unfortunately, I have nothing new for you.

I keep getting emails from hopeful families asking if I have heard anything new. So I thought I would summarize what I know about the situation for international waiting families on the Sri Lanka list. The information below is what I have gathered from our agent in Canada and from other families all over the world.

The program was officially closed from November 2011 to May 2012. When it reopened in May 2012, only government run homes were allowed to place children in foreign countries. Private charity homes could only place children within Sri Lanka. As far as I know, this is still true today.

In 2012, there was 1 placement from Sri Lanka to Canada. The referral had been accepted before the program closed in 2011, and the child was in a government run home. As far as I know, there have been no referrals in Canada since 2011.

I have heard of one European family who got a new referral in 2012. We know for sure that this family was at the top of the international waiting list when the program was closed. As far as I know, this was the only international referral in 2012.

I know of one family who was able to put in their application in November 2012 and made it on the waiting list. At least until November 2012, new applications were still accepted in Sri Lanka. There are, however, rumours that they could stop taking new applications to allow for the waiting list to shrink down a bit.

I know that some European agencies (including the one who placed a child in 2012) are warning their customers about increased waiting times. Some have suggested that their customers apply to a different country. I have heard rumours of 5 to 6 years wait. This is only a rumour, but it makes sense with only the government run homes placing children internationally and a full year without placements.

I’m sorry that I don’t have better news for you. I’ll keep you posted if anything else comes up.

In the meantime, let's all try to keep in mind that these difficult measures were put in place to protect the children – our future children. It’s sometimes difficult to take a step back and look at things in a broader way, but adoption is all about the kids’ best interest. It sure is a lesson in patience for us!