This part is subdivided into 3. First, it asks why we want to adopt and how we came to the decision. We have to explain our views on adoption and our understanding of the challenges ahead. Then, we have to describe the child we wish to adopt in terms of health, age, gender, race and any other requirement. The last bit is about our views on open adoption.
Of course, we had already talked about why we want to adopt and what adoption will be like, but it got us thinking about stuff we had not really thought about so much. We had never considered how being an already bi-cultural family could make it easier for us to integrate our child’s culture into our family. Also, Pablo growing up so close to his extended family, with so many younger kids, has been a really good experience for him. That’s probably why he is so comfortable holding a new born baby (where in the world does a man with no children learn how to do this?!?).
But to me, the most important learning from that section was about the birthparents. I am slowly coming to the understanding that these people are making decisions that will give my child the best life they can have. It’s probably the most difficult thing they will ever do in their lives. Birth mothers don’t make adoption plans because it’s the easiest solution; they make them out of pure, uninterested love. I am going to tell my kid that they were not abandoned, and that they were loved so much that their birth parents had to let go of them to save their life.
And when things get tough, emotionally, I am going to think about these people, and keep in mind that I am on the easy, happy end of this adventure.
We are done putting out thoughts together for the Self-Report. We have 20 pages so far, but it’s mainly bullet points... We still have to write the final thing. It has to be done by the time we meet our social worker for the first interview.
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