Tuesday, October 30, 2012

A Practical Book About Attachment

See this book on Amazon
Adoption parenting is, in a lot of ways, very similar to biological parenting. 
But there are a few very important differences. 
One major difference is that adopted children may have gone through traumatic events or abnormal attachment patterns. And this means that some parenting techniques need to be adapted to these children.

Lark Eshelman's Becoming a Family is somewhat of a guidebook to the healthy attachment we all want for our kids.

This is not the first book on the subject that I have read. But I really liked that this one presented a lot of realistic, concrete solutions. Some books talk about the risks of unhealthy attachment and paint the very scary picture of a severely hurt child, yet keep the constructive comments to some very general guidelines. Becoming a Family paints the same scary picture, but it also offers lots of advice to help avoid reactive attachment disorders. The book is grounding, yet generates hope.
For an example, you may have read that the Cry It Out strategy that can help a secure baby learn to get to sleep alone can be very damaging to an already fragile attachment. Becoming a Family says exactly the same. But it also offers a practical routine for a slow transition to get baby to sleep by himself. 

I personally learned a lot reading this book, and also feel more confident about parenting a child for attachment. 

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