Monday, August 22, 2011

References

Part of the Home Study is getting references from people who know us. We need 4 references to fill out forms about us, our personalities, our experience with children and their perception of our parenting skills.
There are a few conditions to be met, when it comes to picking our references:
  • There can only be one reference from someone in our family
  • These people have to know both of us for 5 years or more
  • There can’t be 2 references from 2 members of the same family
  • They have to speak a reasonable English (this seems obvious, but remember we are French and Spanish)
It may be just me, but I feel like being picked as a reference for adoptive parents is a bit of a privilege... I mean, it involves some work, but you become some sort of mentor to the child, in a way. I will for sure tell my kids, as they grow up, who was involved in getting them home to us. And our references will be high on the list!
There are a lot more than 4 people I would have liked to ask for references! 
All our friends from Alberta do not qualify: we have only lived here 3 years, so none of them has known us 5 years or more. Also, on both sides of the family, there are a whole lot of people who are supporting our project and know us very well, but we could only have one reference from the family.
So we ended up picking those 4:
-          Pablo’s sister, G. She is a real sweetheart! She has known me since I started going out with Pablo. She has 3 gorgeous daughters, 2 of which we have spent quite a bit of time with. They have stayed with us, without their parents, a few times, including a full 2 weeks in Alberta. G knows us very well and she knows how we behave with children.
-          Our common friend C. I have been friends with her since college. Her husband and her came to visit us in Alberta several times and she was my Kilimanjaro partner. They are awesome friends... They have a beautiful little boy and, although we have not met him in person yet (they live in Quebec), she knows we’re already crazy about him.
-          My almost-sister N. I met her when I was 3 years old! Our friendship has been through a lot... Actually, that’s an understatement... She is one of my role-models in life. She also knows Pablo from before we moved out of Quebec, and she has been a prime witness of all the highs and lows of my relationship with him. There is not much N does not know about me! She has an adorable little girl who has the same first name as my great-grandmother.
-          My high school friend S. She will bring a different perspective, as she has been really present in my life at a different time as the others... We kept contact, of course, and she knows Pablo too. But we used to spend a lot more time together when we were teenagers. Actually, I am going to take this opportunity to reconnect with her...
Everyone accepted to fill out the forms for us. I am really grateful that we are so well surrounded! It's good to be reminded, every once in a while :)

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